Once you travel to another ship, for a moment you feel that classic Dead Space horror. Spacewalks are breathtaking, quite literally if you wait and gaze for too long and run out of oxygen. The graphics are absolutely beautiful, a stark contrast against the monstrosities you face. Isaac can read Marker scrawl now, and he obtains a cryptic message from the Admiral, who was locked up for going insane. The ultra creepy babies that climbed the walls and shot barbs at you have been replaced by not as disturbing dogs, who have the exact same behaviour. You spend a bit of time in space in the early stages of the game, where you get reintroduced to each monster in turn. When all the baysplosions are over, you go hunting for various components scattered on a derelict fleet. How the hell is Isaac going to pull this one off? But humans were here 200 years ago, with more men and more guns. Apparently, the key to stopping the necromorphs is somewhere on the barren surface. Thankfully they are over by the time you reach the surface of an ice ball hell of a world.

I call them “obstacles” because there is only one real puzzle in the game.

The tutorials make Isaac sound like an idiot, needing to ask for help with every new obstacle he faces. All of this before Mr Clarke even puts an EVA suit on.

“Hey” I countered, “At least they setting some story for what’s going on and has been happening.” Isaac Clarke continues, never pausing to consider the death he rains down on humans and necromorphs alike. The pitifully weak flesh of their necks splattered the walls as I moved forward, explosions all around me. No, not necromorphs that used to be human, I mean actual living, breathing, toss a grenade at you humans. So with the sound turned up way too high, the lights dimmed and my newly purchased adult diaper firmly in place, I was ready to face the necromorphs and pause to grab the calming meds if needed… Dead Space 3 arrived and I was excited, despite all my groaning about reveals of co-op, a pay to win structure and the fact that the game is about going to a frozen planet instead of being, you know, in space.

Dead space 3 coop ruined game